Football for beginners

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I never cared much for football. It was a lot of running and snorting and stamping, and I didn't understand the rules anyway.

 

 

Partner has tried, very patiently, for very many years, to teach me the game. No soap. I used to think I had some kind of mental block that prevented me from learning this stuff; I still think, for example, that a “safety” is when one of the players runs backward.

 

 

Then I hired a member of the university football team to work for me in the office.

 

 

Bingo!

 

 

He was not only huge, but funny and articulate. I asked him what position he played, and he was insightful enough to know that if he'd said “offensive lineman,” I would have been as unenlightened as ever. So he said: “I push people around.”

 

 

Now that I understand.

 

 

He spoke with passion about the phases of his training: strength, speed, agility. I was, naturally, enthralled.

 

 

So now, naturally, I am much more taken by football than I was before.

 

 

Now I see in the New York Times that various teams – mostly college teams, apparently – are redesigning their uniforms to be more colorful, and interesting, and eye-catching.

 

 

So what audience are they aiming this at? The old traditional fans?

 

 

I don't think so!

 

 

They're aiming it at people like me!

 

 

And, just so you know: my former employee's team won their first game of the season, by one point!

 

 

Yay team!

 

 

I hope they win the Stanley Cup!

 

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