“Thor”: a second look

 

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My friend Tab and I were having one of those meandering conversations the other day. We went from RuPaul to Laura Linney to “The Big C” to Idris Elba, the extremely versatile (and very handsome) actor who played Laura’s hotter-than-hell boyfriend in the first season of “The Big C.”  “I appreciate him,” I said. “Wow, do I appreciate him. It’s a shame they covered him up with so much fabric and costume jewelry in ‘Thor.’”

 

 

 

“Who was he in ‘Thor’?” Tab asked curiously.

 

 

“He was Heimdall,” I said, both proud of my knowledge and ashamed to show how much of a comic-book geek I am. “The guardian of the Rainbow Bridge.”

 

 

Tab giggled. “Rainbow Bridge,” he said. “Seriously. How gay can you get? All the gods and warriors are wearing accessories.”

 

 

I began to see his point. “Asgard’s sort of the biggest baddest gay club ever,” I said. “It fairly pulses with bad house music. And Heimdall’s the bouncer.”

 

 

“And,” Tab said, “do you remember that beam they travelled around in? I mean, my god, how phallic was that?”

 

“Also,” I mused, “Thor has a very big hammer. And he likes to hit things with it. Also he likes to go out drinking.”

 

 

(Side note: Thor does seem to like girls, or at least Natalie Portman. Natalie Portman is, however, a little – hm – boyish, especially with that short haircut. Also there’s a brief scene in the movie of Natalie and Thor serving their friends breakfast. Or could it be – gasp! – brunch?)

 

 

My god. Why didn’t I realize all this before?

 

 

No wonder I liked that movie so much.

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For Hanukkah: Jewish superheroes

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Speaking as a Gentile, of all the Jewish holidays, I like Hanukkah best.

 

 

Fine, it’s not a High Holiday, it’s an observance.  The gifts are bush-league: chocolate coins, colorful pencils.  Maybe, if you’re lucky, you get a shirt and pants.  But the candles are pretty.  And it’s eight days long.  And who doesn’t like potato pancakes?  Or playing dreidel?

 

 

But I was especially amused to find the above image on Tumblr recently.

 

 

Evidently Ben Grimm – the everlovin’ blue-eyed Thing from Marvel Comics – is Jewish!  

 

 

I love the yarmulke, and the prayer shawl, and most especially the big smile, and most most most especially the fact that this was drawn by classic Marvel artist Jack Kirby (born Jacob Kurtzberg).

 

I like the idea of Jewish superheroes.  They’re fictional characters right alongside Miss Elizabeth Bennett and Artur Sammler and Genji, so why not?  I looked online, and found that Doc Samson (who’s a sort of semi-Hulk in the Marvel universe) and Volcana (a heroine/villainess in the Marvel world) are both Jewish, as are a few others.  (Evidently the DC universe is non-denominational.  Although I would not be surprised to discover that the Kents brought up Clark as a Methodist.)

 

 

A Kuwaiti Muslim writer named Naif al-Mutawa has, for the past few years, been developing a line of Muslim comics called “The 99.”  The backstory is that a group of Medieval Muslim thinkers / philosophers / clerics harnessed the energy of the 99 names of Allah, but a villain tried to absorb all the power himself; he mostly failed, but the energy of the 99 names went out into the world, and has been absorbed by 99 other people.  One by one they come forward: The Light, The Powerful, The Listener, the Healer, the Destroyer.

 

 

I like this too.

 

 

We still love mythology, don’t we?  And superheroes are the playactors in our modern versions of those miracle stories and myths.  Did you notice, in last summer’s “Thor,” that the title character died to save his friends, and came back to life?   And I seem to recall the very same thing happening in 2006’s “Superman Returns.”  And think of all the angst and cosmic love triangles in the various X-Men stories –

 

 

Enough.

 

 

Cosmic drama and resurrection are terrific things, but sometimes it's nicer to have candles and potato pancakes and chocolate money.

 

 

Gut yontif, Ben Grimm, wherever you are.

 

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The Mighty Thor

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Partner and I recently saw “Thor.” Frankly, after having seen the preview, you could not have kept me away from this movie with a pack of dogs and a taser. I mean, have you seen this Chris Hemsworth?

Actually, he's not that handsome. He's blandly handsome. He has one of those little-boy faces that looks out of place on top of a big muscular body. (Taylor Lautner has the same, um, problem.)

But, surprise surprise, Chris Hemsworth can act. He is expressive, and funny. And – well, you must know that the movie was directed by Kenneth Branagh, who knows from Shakespeare. The movie is staged in a split-level way: the gods up in Asgard with their riotous banquets and dramatic feuds, and the poor human beings down here in Midgard (Earth to you). Shakespeare often alternates scenes of the royals with scenes of common soldiers / mechanicals / townspeople drinking and arguing. And once in a while they come together, with great dramatic/comic effect. Just as they do here.

Hemsworth plays Thor as a natural nobleman. Thor is funny and kind and honest, because he doesn't know any other way to be. He's in a diner, eating a gigantic breakfast, and Kat Dennings (Natalie Portman's comic-relief friend) asks him to smile for a photo, and without pausing he looks into the camera and gives her the biggest cheesiest smile you've ever seen.

He is the ultimate Happy Warrior. He's not mean or bullyish; he goes into a fight with a cheerful heart, because he always knows he's fighting for the right thing. Even when he goes out to die for his friends' sake, he's smiling. (Yes, he dies for his friends. And then he comes back to life. Hmm. This story reminds me of something, but I can't think what.)

There is a brief scene in which Thor helps Natalie Portman serve breakfast to her friends. Sacrilege! all the fanboys screamed. The Mighty Thor would never serve anybody pancakes! But you know what? Of course he would. He is that perfect kind of nobleman who never reminds you that he's superior to you.

And this is my very favorite scene:

Thor's finally returned to his full Asgardian stature as God of Thunder. He towers over Natalie Portman gigantically, gripping his hammer. And she murmurs: “So this is how you normally look?” And he pauses slightly, and grins, and says, “More or less.”

And she pauses too, and grins, and says, “I like it.”

I like it too.

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Coming attractions II

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Back to the Showcase Cinema: two large Diet Cokes and two seats close to the aisle.

But first, the previews:

No Strings Attached. This is the third time I've seen this preview, and every time I see it, Ashton Kutcher looks more and more like my fat unmarried cousin. Why do they keep casting him as a cute young stud? And doesn't Natalie Portman have better things to do? Evidently not. Coming January 21.

Sanctum. The new James Cameron feature. Huge glowing underwater structure, which I think Cameron had left over from “The Abyss,” or maybe “Avatar.” A bunch of people diving into bottomless pools hidden in huge caves. Claustrophobia is the latest big thing, I guess. One of the actors whimpers, “I don't want to die down here!” Well, dumbass, why did you go skin-diving in a bottomless pit hidden in a dark cave? Coming February 4.

Season of the Witch. Nicolas Cage's hair used to get more and more disheveled as his movies progressed. Now he just starts the movie disheveled and lets the chips fall where they may. He's got a real Annette Funicello thing going in this one. Castles, ominous-looking birds – um, crusaders? Oh, there's a woman in a cage. They think she's a witch. She's not a real witch, though. Oops, yes she is! Coming January 7.

Thor. Large blonde beefcake number with scruffy beard. He looks sullen and takes off his shirt twice in a two-minute preview. Now we're talking. Now we're in Valhalla! Lots of Art Deco architecture. Apparently the Norse gods wear workout outfits designed by RuPaul. Anthony Hopkins is wearing a platinum eyepatch. Fight, fight, fight! Hit me with your big ol' hammer, Thor! Coming May 6.

(“We're seeing that one,” I whispered to Partner. Partner scowled and mimed braining me with a box of Raisinets.)

Unknown. Liam Neeson looking intense. He has amnesia! Or does he? He's running all over Europe trying to convince people of his real identity. Isn't this the same movie he did a few years ago? If I'd saved my movie stub from that one, would I get to see this one free? Coming February 18.

And now: your feature presentation.

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