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Showing posts with label stewed dog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stewed dog. Show all posts

Monday, April 15, 2013

Horsemeat

Horsemeat


There’s been a recent scare in Europe over the use of horsemeat in prepared foods. It showed up in one country after another (evidently a processing plant in Romania was providing the horseflesh).

 


Then, most shockingly, it was in some of the stuff sold in Ikea.

 


Ikea! Nice sweet friendly Ikea!

 


It’s nothing to me. I’ve eaten horsemeat knowingly. There was a cunning little butchershop in Morocco with a nice painting of a racehorse over the door; it took me a while to figure out what that meant, but I got it after a while. Then I realized that the Belgian lady who owned the snack shop downtown was using horsemeat in her hamburgers. (It turns out that horsemeat has a pleasant flavor, sweeter than beef, and doesn’t change color very much when it’s cooked, so it still looks a little raw when you eat it.) I used to take American friends there, just to see how they’d react. Most didn’t notice a thing. One friend sent his burger back, because he thought it was underdone, and couldn’t understand why the meat was still pinkish. I never had the heart to tell him.

 

 

It’s all cultural. I had rabbit and frog in France last October, because how often do you see them on the menu in the United States? The rabbit was delicious; the frog was a little muddy and fishy. I love squid (which is much more palatable as “calamari”), but still struggle a little with octopus, which has a very strong smell and taste. I had paella a long time ago in San Juan, Puerto Rico, and found a tiny starfish in the rice, and wasn’t sure if it was for decoration or meant to be eaten. (I didn’t eat it. Even I have my limits.) I love sushi, and one of my favorites is unagi, which is eel with plum sauce. Eel! Horrible slimy snaky eel!

 

 

Herewith one of my favorite I’ll-never-make-this recipes:

 

 

Stewed Dog (to be served over rice)

3 kg dog meat*
1 1/2 cups vinegar
60 peppercorns, crushed
6 tablespoons salt
12 cloves garlic, crushed
1/2 cup oil
6 cups onion, sliced
3 cups tomato sauce
10 cups water
6 cups red pepper, cut into strips
6 pieces bay leaf
1 teaspoon tabasco sauce
1 1/2 cups liver spread**
1 whole fresh pineapple, cut ½” thick

1. First, kill a medium sized dog, then burn off the fur over a hot fire.

2. Carefully remove the skin while still warm and set aside for later (may be used in other recpies)

3. Cut meat into 1″ cubes. Marinate meat in mixture of vinegar, peppercorn, salt and garlic for 2 hours.

4. Fry meat in oil using a large wok over an open fire, then add onions and chopped pineapple and saute until tender.

5. Pour in tomato sauce and boiling water, add green pepper, bay leaf and tabasco.

6. Cover and simmer over warm coals until meat is tender. Blend in liver spread and cook for additional 5-7 minutes.

* You can substitute lamb for dog. The taste is similar, but not as pungent.
** Smooth liver pate will do as well.

 



 

 

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Recipes I will never make (although, on the other hand, you never know)

 

Hotdog-sm


 I like reading cookbooks, for the following reasons:

 

 

-        Sometimes I get good ideas from them.

-        Sometimes, believe it or not, they’re well-written. From the dry beautiful prose of Elizabeth David to the wisecracks of Peg Bracken, you can lose yourself as easily in a good cookbook as you can in any novel.

-        Now and then you read something really eye-crossingly strange.

 

 

Albert Einstein performed “thought-experiments,” in which you didn’t really perform any physical experimentation; you just thought it through. 

 

 

These recipes, for me, are “thought-recipes.”

 

 

I know, for example, where to find a recipe for Roast Hump of Gazelle.  (I think camel hump can be substituted, if you’re out of gazelle.) 

 

 

My old copy of The Joy of Cooking includes a series of diagrams showing how to skin a squirrel. It involves putting the squirrel under your boot and pulling the tail upward.

 

 

I have read many times Alice Toklas’s recipe for Oeufs Francis Picabia (basically a big bowl of undercooked raw egg with lots of melted butter mixed into it), and for Truffled Sweetbreads (to be served on lettuce leaves).  Elizabeth David recounts a three-page all-day process for cooking a rabbit, which I think begins by analyzing the mental health of the bunny before you cook it.  It ends with people lining up outside your house, mesmerized by the delicious smell of the dish you’re cooking.

 

 

Then there is salade Rossini, which is (take this down):

 

 

·       Potatoes cooked in chicken stock;

·       Mussels (a third less than the potatoes);

·       “As many truffles as the budget will allow, sliced and cooked in champagne”;

·       A nice fruity vinegar and olive oil and salt and pepper and some tarragon over all. 

 

 

It actually sounds delicious, but my budget does not allow for any truffles at all, so I will not be sampling M. Rossini’s salad anytime soon.

 

 

I also have a recipe for stewed dog, to be served at weddings.  I can send it to you if you don’t believe me.

 

 

And here’s one I’ve read, but can’t find (Apollonia has seen it too, and we continually reassure one another that we’re not crazy, we’ve both seen this recipe): a big hunk of Bologna sausage, roasted and basted with grape jelly.

 

 

My mouth waters whenever I think of it.