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Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts

Friday, October 11, 2013

Lupini beans



Some time ago, Apollonia’s family was having a conversation about the actress Ida Lupino, and the (very demonstrable) fact that she made some pretty awful movies. Then Apollonia’s brother-in-law Rocky inserted: “What about lupini beans? Do you think Ida Lupino’s name has anything to do with lupini beans?”


And a fresh argument broke out.


See the picture above if you’re unfamiliar with lupini beans. They’re an Italian specialty, which you can probably find in your local supermarket (especially if there’s a big Italian community in your neighborhood). They’re not really beans, but the huge seeds of the yellow Mediterranean lupine. They contain a toxin, by the way. They have to be soaked and blanched and rinsed and salted and all kinds of things before they’re fit to eat. Then you still have to take off the husk before you eat them.


But they’re really pretty good, once you taste them. Also, they’re full of nutrients.


When Apollonia’s sister Augusta heard that I was ill, she rushed into action and sent me a jar of lupini beans, which she’d seasoned herself with olive oil and herbs. This was the accompanying note:


“My friend Ida always suggests a few lupini a day. They are loaded with fiber & protein – but don’t overdo it – too many can cause gastric lupinoma and gastric bezoar composed of multiple lupini beans. Surgical removal required. Enjoy!”


Also, she sent a can of air freshener, in case the outcome of the lupini beans was unfortunate (as it might be) for Partner and/or me.


I ate half a dozen of them, and I thought they were pretty good, and no air freshener was required. Partner is wary of them and hasn’t tried them yet.


Oh hell they’re just Mediteranean lupine seeds! What could they possibly do to you?


(I told Augusta, when I wrote her a thank-you note, that I hoped I did develop a gastric bezoar. You can use them as an antidote to poisons, and they also strengthen your aura.)


(You just wait. I will have a glorious aura.)



Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Barilla pasta, homophobia. and my recipe for faux Fettucine Alfredo





Is he seriously out of his mind?


How many brands of pasta are there? I can think of six without stretching my brain too far. I generally buy what’s on sale, or what’s cheap, because – let’s face it – there’s not much difference. De Cecco is excellent (Mia Farrow and I agree on that); if I see it on sale, I buy it immediately, because it’s very certainly better than any other brand.


But is Barilla really better than Prince, or Bertolli, or Buitoni, or store brand, or Ronzoni, or anything else? Not really. Pasta is pasta, and I don’t need to buy pasta from a homophobe.


(Notes: the CEO of Barilla has sort of apologized, now that he’s realized how stupid he was. Also, other brands – like Buitoni and San Remo – have welcomed gay people to eat their pasta. Here’s a recent Buitoni advertisement:)




Now: who wants fettucine Alfredo a la Futureworld?


-         Cook 1 lb pasta (preferably fettucine, but any other pasta will do, so long as it’s not anything made by Barilla) al dente. Drain.


-         While cooking the pasta, mix up the following:


o   ½ - ¾ cup ricotta cheese
o   ½ cup Parmesan cheese
o   1 egg
o   2 T prepared chopped garlic (sold in jars)
o   2 T dried (or, better yet, fresh) parsley
o   Salt and pepper


-         Add ½ cheese mixture to empty saucepan over medium heat. Stir for a minute or two. Add pasta slowly, still stirring. Add remaining ½ cheese mixture. Taste, and correct salt / pepper / Parmesan / garlic.
-         Enjoy, with warm Italian bread and maybe a little extra Parmesan.


-         (And don’t buy Bertolli.)



Friday, September 6, 2013

Beets



I hated vegetables when I was young. This included beans of all kinds, spinach, carrots, radishes, squash, peppers, tomatoes, and lettuce. Potatoes I accepted, because they didn’t look like vegetables; corn I also accepted, because it was sweet, and corn-on-the-cob was especially interesting (most especially when it was dripping with butter and covered with salt).




Also, pickiness is heritable from a parent. This makes sense to me: my mother was one of the pickiest eaters I’ve ever known, even as an adult. Her favorite meal was a hamburger and French fries at the local Burgerville (hold the ketchup).


But I’ve mostly gotten over my pickiness, as I’ve gotten older. I like trying new strange foods.


But I have not yet made friends completely with beets.


Beets are a root crop, and very healthy for you. Also, you can eat the greens on top.


But I am still not delighted with them.


When you prepare them with a little sugar and vinegar – that is, as “Harvard beets” – they’re almost nice. (The more vinegar and the sweeter the beets, the better.)


When prepared naturally, however, they have a very – um – natural flavor. That is to say, they taste like dirt.


Apollonia told me a story recently, about taking her sons to a local historical attraction, where people dress up in period garb and pretend that it’s 1790. A woman came up to them with a big bowl of beets. “Beets are wonderful,” the woman said. “You can pickle them, or eat them raw. You can eat them in salads. You can use them to dye cloth. Or –“


“Or,” Apollonia’s son said, “you can throw them out the window.”


This is an excellent suggestion. Next time I see beets on the plate, I will try throwing them out the window, and see what happens.



Thursday, August 29, 2013

MUFAs




Do you not recognize the title of this blog? Well, I’ll tell you what it means: MonoUnsaturated Fatty Acids.


These are found in olives, and olive oil, and avocadoes, and nuts, and a few other places.


MUFAs are good for you. They defeat heart disease, and (some say) even cancer. They are very good for your cholesterol. They even help you control your weight.


MUFAs are the latest recruits in the nutrition wars. Remember “superfoods”? The list keeps growing. Recently, in the Providence Journal, they featured something called “seaberries” (also called “sea buckthorn,” Hippophae). They are said to have a “citrus-like” flavor that’s “somewhat unpleasant.”

But they’re good for you!


Remember goji berries? And acai? Also very unpleasant-tasting. I also find pomegranate juice unpleasant, unless it’s mixed with raspberry or something more palatable. All three of the above – goji, and acai, and unadulterated pomegranate – taste (to me) like dirt laced with motor oil.


But they’re good for you!


My student employee Joshua recently brought in a whole papaya, which he tried to eat. Papayas are a superfood, right? But his papaya (he told me later) was a little unripe: hard and sour. He ended up throwing much of it away.


But they’re good for you!


Here’s the thing about foods with MUFAs: we know them already, and they taste good. I like olives, and olive oil, and avocadoes, and cashews, and walnuts, and peanuts, and dark chocolate.


It’s like the old canard about American moms and French moms: “American moms tell their kids: ‘Eat it! It’s good for you!’ But French moms say: ‘Eat it! It’s good!’”


I’m with the French moms on this one.


Eat more MUFAs. They’re not just good for you; they’re good.



Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Eat more goat



I have eaten goat three times in my life (so far as I know).


The first time was in Morocco in 1984. I was visiting my friend Dave in Asilah, a lovely town on the northern Atlantic coast, and we decided impulsively to buy some goat meat and cook it.


We had no idea what we were up against. Goats (in Morocco at least) are tough. We cooked it for quite a while, but we still couldn’t eat it; the meat was wrapped around the bones like thick rubber bands. We gnawed on it for a while, but it was too tough for us. I think we threw it out and ate in a restaurant that evening.


The second time was here in Providence, maybe ten years ago. A work friend and I had heard about a good (and authentic) Mexican place on the West Side. Okay. Well, what do you order: something you could make at home, or something interesting?


They had goat on the menu. So I ordered the goat.


It wasn’t bad. It wasn’t wonderful, but it wasn’t bad.


The third time was just the other day. My student employee invited me to lunch at the Jamaican place across the street. They had “curry goat” on the menu. Well, once again: why not order something interesting?


“Curry goat” was delicious, and very tender. There were bits of gristle in it, and odd pieces of bone, but I think (when you’re eating goat) those are the rules of the game. Also, it came with fried plantains, and rice-and-beans, Caribbean style.


I’d order it again.


But oh my God: think of the poor little goat who died for this!



Saturday, July 27, 2013

Microbes, probiotics, and prebiotics



Some time ago, Michael Pollan had an article in the New York Times Magazine about the cohabitation of microbes and human beings. It turns out that each one of us is a huge colony of cells, some of them specifically human, but the majority foreign to us. We contain more single-celled microbes than human cells, believe it or not.


But we coexist with those microbes. They live in us, and on us, and have done so for a very long time, and we have found ways of coexisting that are beneficial to all. Some microbes help to regulate our digestion; others regulate our immune systems; and so on.


Example: Helicobacter pylori. H. pylori was discovered several decades ago to be the main cause of stomach ulcers. Before this discovery, ulcers were one of those things you just suffered with, like arthritis. After the discovery, a quick course of specific antibiotics cured ulcers double-quick.


Except that it turns out that it’s more complicated than that. H. pylori helps regulate stomach acid when we’re younger; when we’re older, it causes ulcers. This (Pollan speculates) may be on purpose: maybe the body and the bacteria are collaborating to kill us, to move us off the stage so that younger and stronger people can take over.


H. pylori has been largely eradicated now. Is this a good thing? Perhaps. Perhaps not.


Pollan also takes on the issue of probiotics. Can we tend our gut flora as if it were a kitchen garden? Perhaps. We already do it with yogurt, and pickles, and sauerkraut, and all kinds of things. But now you can buy foods with “beneficial” microbes, which will colonize your stomach and intestines and make you unbelievably healthy.


Then there are “prebiotics.” These are foods that serve as quick-start fuel for microbial populations.


I tried one of these a few years ago.



Evidently I have a very lively microbial population in my gut. Giving it a little extra food was like giving Hitler the A-bomb.


I will never eat anything labeled “prebiotic” again.


I love my internal microbial population, but I don’t want them to take over completely.




Thursday, July 18, 2013

For Ramadan: Harira



Ramadan began last week. I have some Muslim friends on Facebook, so I see lots of “Ramadan kareem!” messages going back and forth.


The Islamic months don’t correspond to the seasons as ours do; their year is roughly 354 days long, so Ramadan happens roughly twelve days earlier every year. In 1984, my first year in Morocco, the first day of Ramadan was roughly the first of June. (There was some trouble that year. It’s not officially a new month until the new moon is sighted in Mecca, and the weather was bad that year in Saudi Arabia. Finally, around the third or fourth of June 1984, Ramadan was declared to be officially begun, almost by default.)


Summer is a bad time for Ramadan, and June is the worst of all, because June days are the longest days of the year. Muslims are enjoined to fast from the time in the morning when it’s light enough “to distinguish a black thread from a white thread” to the prayer-call at sunset. “Fasting,” in this sense, means no eating, no drinking water (very devout Muslims won’t swallow when they’re brushing their teeth, and there’s a lot of spitting in the street going on, because swallowing your own spit might qualify as drinking), no sex, no smoking (tragic in a culture like North Africa where everyone smokes).


That first year, in 1984, I tried to fast. I couldn’t do it. I realized, after two or three days, that no one could see me eating during the day if I just closed the window blinds.


Later, in Tunisia, I was more casual. I knew I was a “kouffar” (unbeliever), and so did everyone else, so I closeted myself in my office and smoked and drank water and coffee to my heart’s content. One of my Tunisian coworkers, who’d studied extensively in Europe and who was very worldly, joined me.


Then, a day or two later, someone else joined us.


After about two weeks, the whole office was smoking with me, on and off. It was okay, because they were with an unbeliever, and I was exerting an undue irreligious influence on them.


Ah, kids, those were the days.


There was a restaurant in Tunis not far from our house, which was also not far from the az-Zeituna mosque, one of the most famous mosques in Tunisia. During Ramadan, about fifteen minutes before sunset, we’d go there. They’d seat us and serve us soup.


But no one ate.


We waited for the boy at the mosque to give us the signal that the evening call to prayer was complete.


Then, in unison, we all dipped our spoons into our delicious thick chicken / tomato / chickpea soup, and broke our fast.




advertising
Makes about 12 cups
·         1 whole chicken breast, halved
·         4 cups chicken broth
·         4 cups water
·         a 28-to 32-ounce can whole tomatoes, drained and puréed coarse
·         1/4 teaspoon crumbled saffron threads
·         2 medium onions, chopped fine
·         19-ounce can of chick-peas, rinsed
·         1/2 cup raw long-grain rice
·         1/2 cup lentils
·         3/4 cup finely chopped fresh coriander
·         3/4 cup finely chopped fresh parsley leaves
·         dried chick-peas, picked over water

In a heavy kettle (at least 5 quarts) simmer chicken in broth and water 17 to 20 minutes, or until chicken is just cooked through, and transfer chicken with a slotted spoon to a cutting board. Add to kettle tomatoes, saffron, onions, chick-peas, rice, and lentils and simmer, covered, 30 minutes, or until lentils are tender. Shred chicken, discarding skin and bones, and stir into soup with salt and pepper to taste. Soup may be prepared 4 days ahead (cool uncovered before chilling covered).



I find this recipe incomplete. It needs ras al-hanout, the traditional North African seasoning (you can buy it online, or make it yourself from regular ol’ supermarket seasonings), and some eggs (Ramadan harira usually has pieces of hard-boiled egg in it).


Also: if you make this soup, serve it with lots of Italian or French bread, for scooping and dipping.


And if you don’t feel like cooking soup the long way, especially during this long dismally hot summer, I’ve discovered that Campbell’s makes some very nice soups in plastic bags, which are pretty authentic. Their “Moroccan Chicken with Chickpeas” is a very passable Moroccan shorba, verging on harira.


Pinch a penny and spend a couple of bucks and buy a packet of it, and enjoy it.


With some Italian bread, and a lemon wedge to squeeze into it.


Ramadan kareem.



Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Pizza and cheese sandwiches





A few Sunday mornings ago, the beloved Bill Geist did a story on “CBS Sunday Morning” about a grilled-cheese sandwich festival/competition in Los Angeles. (Americans have fetishized cheese sandwiches, just as they fetishize everything.) There’s a category in the competition for sandwiches with bread and cheese only; there’s a category for “exotic” sandwiches, with ingredients like pork ribs and pesto; and there’s a dessert category, which is a cheese sandwich incorporating something sweet.


Partner sniffed at the second category. “Those aren’t cheese sandwiches,” he said haughtily. “Those are rib sandwiches with cheese.”


“Why aren’t they cheese sandwiches with ribs?” I asked innocently.


He glared at me. “Obviously the ribs are going to overpower the cheese.”


I don’t get this. It’s a sandwich with cheese, so it’s a cheese sandwich. Who cares what else it has on it?


Evidently I am not a food purist.


This reminded me of something from Elizabeth David’s “Is There a Nutmeg in the House?”, but I couldn’t find my copy to give you an exact quote. Here’s a general paraphrase:


“I was looking at the menu of a local pizza restaurant, and noted that there were pizzas with bacon, and ham, and even pineapple. I am sure these are very interesting, but they are not pizza. I am not sure what they are.”


I worship the immortal soul of Elizabeth David, and would never disagree with her. But I have to disagree with her here.


“Pizza,” for me, is a thing that looks like pizza: sauce and cheese on a round flat bread-like crust. One of the original “pizzas” was the Neapolitan pizza margherita, which is red / white / green like the Italian flag: tomato sauce, mozzarella cheese, basil. Another “authentic” Neapolitan pizza has an egg baked on top. (I love this, by the way, because I encountered it often in Tunisia, which is about six inches below Italy on the world map. Most of my American friends are either hilarified or disgusted by the thought.)


Sorry, kids: food is food. Pizza is pizza, whatever you put on top. Cheese sandwiches are cheese sandwiches, whatever you cram into them.


I just made myself hungry.




Friday, June 28, 2013

Paula Deen deglazes herself on the "Today" show



Some emotions don’t have names in English – “Schadenfreude,” for example. Another, for which I know no word in any language, is sympathetic embarrassment: watching someone make a fool of him/herself, and becoming embarrassed on his/her behalf.


Watch this video of Paula Deen on Wednesday’s “Today” show with Matt Lauer, if you think you can endure it:




Here’s the story in brief: back in May, Paula was deposed in a case in which she and her brother were accused of sexual and racial harassment. She was asked if she’d ever used the N-word, and said, “Yes, of course.” She also said (under oath) that she was sure she’d said it more than once. (She later defended her use of the word in two ways: she was once held up by a black man, and she’d heard black people use the word among themselves.)


When the deposition became public, the Food Network and Smithfield Foods dropped her like a hot buttered potato with extra sour cream.


She apologized on video, not once but three times. Each apology is more excruciating than the last. They are the apologies of someone who’s angry at being caught, and who doesn’t understand exactly what she’s done wrong. In one, she begins by apologizing to Matt Lauer for cancelling her Friday appearance on “Today.” Yes indeed, Matt Lauer’s the offended party here!


She is deeply unrepentant, and deeply insincere. If you didn’t have the bottle to watch the video above (I don’t blame you for that), the most salient point is that she’s deeply hurt by all this, and all those liars, and all the evil people who are working  against her!


What liars? Who’s lying? People are reacting to her own statements. But she doesn’t get that.  “I is what I is,” she says at one point to Matt in the Wednesday-morning interview, as if that’s a justification for doing whatever the hell she likes.


Yes, Paula Deen. You is what you is. You is a not-very-bright person who doesn’t really feel for other people, and you really don’t care about hurting their feelings or offending them.


Late update: Wal-Mart and Caesars Entertainment (who have Paula Deen-themed buffets in four of their casinos) have dropped her, after seeing the Wednesday-morning interview.


(Listen, those of you who love her: Paula will be just fine. There are enough Paula Deen fans to keep her going, for a while, especially in the American South. Her nationwide operation may be a little – hm – cut back, but she’ll probably survive this.


(Her brother and her sons (who have linked their careers to hers) may be cooked, however.


(If so, however, I hope they’re cooked in deep fat and served with gravy, the way Paula would like.)



Thursday, June 20, 2013

Salt is evil. Or is it?





Mark Bittman recently wrote about how people talk about food in good-and-evil terms. Salt is always bad. So is sugar. Fat is always bad too. Gluten is the devil. Quinoa and spelt, on the other hand, are wonder foods. Soy used to be wonderful, but now it’s suspect. Same with sweet potatoes.


Here are some facts: Salt is a necessary nutrient. Sugar is just a carbohydrate, like many others. Fat is concentrated energy in food form, which is why we find it so appealing. Gluten is just wheat protein; some people may have a sensitivity to it, but most people really don’t. Quinoa and spelt are nice additions to the diet, but don’t cure cancer. Soy is generally fine, as are sweet potatoes.


Now go online and read the reactions from Bittman’s readers! Some of them were furious. He was telling them something contrary to their own beliefs.


Beliefs!


Now here’s a somewhat different case. Watch this video and think about it, and then continue reading:







This is “Sam Sandwich,” an animated character created by the Disney Channel. Sam teaches kids to eat healthily. There are lots of episodes, and I invite you to watch some; they’re cute, and some of them teach valuable lessons, like don’t eat candy for lunch, etc.


But what lesson did you learn from the above video?


If you’re an adult of average intelligence, you will have noticed Sam’s comment that “a pinch of salt makes food taste better, but too much is bad for you.” If you’re a child, you will hear: SALT IS BAD FOR YOU.


I heard about Sam Sandwich from a colleague, who found that her little boy wouldn’t eat anything salty anymore, because “Sam Sandwich says it isn’t good for you.” Evidently he’s a picky eater to begin with, and this has made matters even worse.


Bittman has shown us that adults are credulous enough. Sam Sandwich shows us that children are even more so.


Enough, already. Stop frightening children. And let’s have a little reasonable conversation.


If possible.


Friday, June 14, 2013

Meat sweats




Apollonia told me recently that one of her sons had a little disturbance after having dinner at her house. “I don’t know, Ma,” he said. “Maybe it’s the meat sweats.”


Meat sweats?


I have done some research on this, and if you want to have a good time with Google, you should do the same. Just do a search for the phrase “meat sweats” and see what comes up.


Long story short: people who eat a lot of meat at one sitting often begin to feel very warm, and then they begin to perspire.  Picture the contestants in a hot-dog eating contest, or somebody in one of those restaurants that give you another five-pound burger for free if you finish your first one.  In your mind, they’re sweating, aren’t they? Of course they are.


There are lots of explanations. Myself, I get a funny choking feeling if I eat a lot of beef; it turns out to be something called “esophageal stricture,” which can be caused by lots of things, including eating too much meat. Also, your body metabolizes protein differently, and large amounts of protein can activate all kinds of strange processes . . .


But no. Most doctors agree that there’s no such thing as “meat sweats.” It’s a symptom of fullness; your body is signaling to you that it’s full, and no more food is necessary.


So let’s have some dessert.


Friday, May 24, 2013

White trash cookery




I’ve always known that I’m white trash. It’s a simple calculation: I’m one-half early Twentieth Century European immigrant, one-half American mongrel.


And we White Trash folk know what we like to eat.


And it’s nasty.


Here are a few menu ideas:


-         Make a box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. Or, better yet, store brand. Now add some Velveeta. Or, if you’re really white trash, some Cheese Whiz.
-         You know what’s better than a peanut butter sandwich? A peanut butter sandwich with a slice of bologna on it.
-         Or bananas.
-         Frozen pizza is always better with some ketchup on it.
-         Almost everything is better with crushed potato chips on top.
-         And you know what’s good with everything? Mayonnaise.

But the best recipe of all was given on Saturday Night Live in 1991, when Roseanne Barr portrayed a White Trash mother spontaneously inventing the tuna noodle casserole.


I paraphrase:


“Go next door and borrow some noodles. And then go to the store and get a can of cream of mushroom soup. Don’t get Campbell’s! Get Food Club! It’s cheaper! And I think there’s a can of tuna under my bed. Cook it all together. And don’t forget to save some for me, you little bastard.”


Bon appetit.


Friday, May 17, 2013

Eat like your ancestors




I received a coupon recently for a product called “Suzie’s Puff Cakes.” They look like rice cakes, but they’re made of spelt.


Yes, spelt.


There’s been a vogue for rare and unusual grains recently. If they’re “ancient” – some primitive holdover from the pre-wheat era – so much the better. Spelt is one of these: not a parent or grandparent of modern wheat, but more like its maiden aunt. It’s still grown in Central Europe, and there’s a growing market for it.


As there is for teff (a cereal grass grown in Ethiopia) and quinoa (the seed of a goosefoot relative, from South America), and amaranth (the seeds of a lovely Mexican plant), and Khorasan wheat (which has been patented as “Kamut”).


What do they taste like? Well, try them. They’re all pretty much okay, they won’t shock you. (Quinoa disappoints me a little; it has an odd flavor which, frankly, needs to be covered up.)


But they have the charm of being uncommon and a little strange.


And isn’t it fun to eat something your ancestors might have eaten?


Coming soon: cooking with samphire!




Tuesday, May 14, 2013

(American) Chinese food




I’m not Chinese, but I’m an American. So naturally I eat Chinese food. But maybe not the way Chinese people eat Chinese food.


Pretty much my first exposure to Chinese food was in Spokane in the mid-1970s, while I was in college. It was a revelation. Big platters of food! Family style! Egg rolls!


Well, it was middle-of-the road American Chinese food, naturally. Some of the dishes had Chinese names – “moo goo gai pan,” naturally – but most of them were perfectly Americanized.


But it was good. No: it was delicious.


Then I came to Providence, and learned about all kinds of exotic specialties, like Ants in a Tree, and Happy Family.


Then I visited my mother in rural Washington state, and she was very excited to take me to the new Chinese place in her little town.


Oh my god. Everything had brown gravy on it. The fried rice was dripping with grease. The menu was beyond stereotypical: egg foo young, chop suey, chow mein. It was edible but revolting. I was rude enough to let my mother know that this was swill, and she was furious that I didn’t like her beloved (and, to her, delicious) “Chinese food.”


Well, I am much older now. She was right, of course. What’s authentic, really? American-style Chinese food is certainly not what they eat in China. It’s interesting, and it can be very good, but it’s not really Chinese food.


There are all kinds of local (meaning: American) variants. Here in southern New England, someone invented the chow mein sandwich (which is just what it sounds like, with lots of gravy, so the bread gets good and soaked). Also, in a lot of old-fashioned New England Chinese restaurants, you get bread and butter before your meal.


Partner and I were in his home town, a suburb of Boston, a while back. We visited a Chinese restaurant there – China Moon – which had been around since Partner’s childhood. It’s traditional American-Chinese. They still have subgum on the menu! And everything else!


The first time I had their food, I didn’t like it at all. It wasn’t what I expected. The sweet and sour had candied fruit in it!


But I’ve come around. It’s just one more American version of Chinese food.


And their hot-and-sour soup is superb.


Saturday, May 11, 2013

Fast food




Partner and I took an impromptu holiday on Cape Cod recently. We had a nice meal at Captain Parker’s in West Yarmouth, which is a terrific little seafood restaurant. We had a couple of nice country breakfasts at the Hearth ‘n Kettle in South Yarmouth, which gives you a nice hot pitcher of coffee with your meal.


And we also ate at McDonald’s and at Wendy’s.


Partner and I normally don’t eat fast food. But on holiday: why not?


Just as a test, I ordered a Big Mac. It was almost as I remember from the 1970s and 1980s: it had the same feeling, and the same squishy delectableness, but they hadn’t put enough of the Special Sauce on it! I was a little disappointed. (Special Sauce, for the younger among you, is a mix of mayonnaise, relish, mustard, and other seasonings.)


How about Wendy’s? I’m not a faithful diner here, but their food is good. I had a double-burger thing, and some fries, and a “milkshake” so thick that I couldn’t use a straw. Very nice, all in all.


Much has been written lately about the fast-food cabal and how horrible their food is nutritionally. So the chains – McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s – are making soft and gentle noises about wanting us to eat healthily.


They’re kidding, of course.


They do enormous amounts of research into our natural cravings for sweet and salty and protein, and work until they find perfect combinations. (The Big Mac is one of those perfect combinations.)


They’re devious. They want you to eat there every day.


Don’t do it, kids. Beat them at their own game. Make it a treat, once in a while. It won’t hurt you. It’s really delicious, in its peculiar salty / sweet / protein way.


Just don’t overdo it.



Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Sardines for dinner!




I believe that, if you crave something, you should eat it. Your body is wiser than you are, and if it’s asking for a particular kind of food, probably you should give it the food it’s asking for.


I crave sardines sometimes. I started eating them in Morocco in the 1980s, because they were cheap and didn’t need cooking and were good with fresh bread. Also, the Atlantic waters off the Moroccan coast are rich with sardines (or they were in those days).


I learned then that sardines are not always four inches long and are not born in little metal cans. The best sardines are seven or eight inches long, and are wonderful when you grill them. The Moroccan fishermen kept all the best and biggest sardines, and we ate them with pleasure in Moroccan bars and restaurants. The rest were shipped to canneries.


But even small canned sardines are tasty.


In Morocco, you could buy sardines canned with preserved carrots, and peppers, and tomatoes, and anything you might wish. They were all delicious. Here in the USA, you can buy them in oil, or with hot sauce, or with mustard.


They are pungent, of course. The house smells of sardines for a few hours after I eat them. And you really shouldn’t heat them up, because they stink like holy hell if you do that.




They have a bad reputation, I think, those dusty little cans sitting in the back of the cupboard.


Get those little cans out of the cupboard and open them and have a feast.


Live a little.


Monday, April 15, 2013

Horsemeat

Horsemeat


There’s been a recent scare in Europe over the use of horsemeat in prepared foods. It showed up in one country after another (evidently a processing plant in Romania was providing the horseflesh).

 


Then, most shockingly, it was in some of the stuff sold in Ikea.

 


Ikea! Nice sweet friendly Ikea!

 


It’s nothing to me. I’ve eaten horsemeat knowingly. There was a cunning little butchershop in Morocco with a nice painting of a racehorse over the door; it took me a while to figure out what that meant, but I got it after a while. Then I realized that the Belgian lady who owned the snack shop downtown was using horsemeat in her hamburgers. (It turns out that horsemeat has a pleasant flavor, sweeter than beef, and doesn’t change color very much when it’s cooked, so it still looks a little raw when you eat it.) I used to take American friends there, just to see how they’d react. Most didn’t notice a thing. One friend sent his burger back, because he thought it was underdone, and couldn’t understand why the meat was still pinkish. I never had the heart to tell him.

 

 

It’s all cultural. I had rabbit and frog in France last October, because how often do you see them on the menu in the United States? The rabbit was delicious; the frog was a little muddy and fishy. I love squid (which is much more palatable as “calamari”), but still struggle a little with octopus, which has a very strong smell and taste. I had paella a long time ago in San Juan, Puerto Rico, and found a tiny starfish in the rice, and wasn’t sure if it was for decoration or meant to be eaten. (I didn’t eat it. Even I have my limits.) I love sushi, and one of my favorites is unagi, which is eel with plum sauce. Eel! Horrible slimy snaky eel!

 

 

Herewith one of my favorite I’ll-never-make-this recipes:

 

 

Stewed Dog (to be served over rice)

3 kg dog meat*
1 1/2 cups vinegar
60 peppercorns, crushed
6 tablespoons salt
12 cloves garlic, crushed
1/2 cup oil
6 cups onion, sliced
3 cups tomato sauce
10 cups water
6 cups red pepper, cut into strips
6 pieces bay leaf
1 teaspoon tabasco sauce
1 1/2 cups liver spread**
1 whole fresh pineapple, cut ½” thick

1. First, kill a medium sized dog, then burn off the fur over a hot fire.

2. Carefully remove the skin while still warm and set aside for later (may be used in other recpies)

3. Cut meat into 1″ cubes. Marinate meat in mixture of vinegar, peppercorn, salt and garlic for 2 hours.

4. Fry meat in oil using a large wok over an open fire, then add onions and chopped pineapple and saute until tender.

5. Pour in tomato sauce and boiling water, add green pepper, bay leaf and tabasco.

6. Cover and simmer over warm coals until meat is tender. Blend in liver spread and cook for additional 5-7 minutes.

* You can substitute lamb for dog. The taste is similar, but not as pungent.
** Smooth liver pate will do as well.

 



 

 

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Rhode Island food; or, What the hell is a Wimpy Skippy?

Ri_food


I was meditating in the third-floor kitchen at the office the other day, staring out the window, when a refrigerator magnet caught my eye: CASERTA PIZZERIA. ORIGINATOR OF THE WIMPY SKIPPY.

 

 

Oh my God. I’d forgotten all about the Wimpy Skippy.

 

 

Now, tell me again: what the hell is a Wimpy Skippy?

 

 

Simple: it’s a spinach calzone with mozzarella, pepperoni, and black olives. Here’s the story of the W. S., told in Rhode Islandese by one of Da Guyz up at Caserta’s:

 

 

 

 

Listen: my local bakery makes spinach pies with mozzarella and pepperoni. So I don’t have to go traipsing up to Federal Hill to get one of theirs.

 

 

How about an Awful Awful? That was a Newport Creamery item: a giant milkshake, “awful big, awful good.” Their advertising slogan for it was the simplest possible phrase: “It’s a drink!” And best of all: if you drink three, you get one free.

 

 

And finally: the Jimmie Gimme. It’s an egg-and-ham sandwich (basically an Egg McMuffin) served at the Modern Diner in Pawtucket. It’s a little on the greasy side.

 

 

And don’t even get me started about New York System hot wieners. You can read all about them at this link.

 

 

(Why are we so obsessed with food? I’ve asked this question before, but I still don’t understand. Food’s necessary to our survival, but then again, so are air and water. We don’t talk about air all day long, or water. Why do we talk about food, and write books about it, and argue about it incessantly?)

 

 

(Heaven only knows.)

 

 

(Now let’s go downcity and get a Haven Brothers hot dog.)