I’ve always known that I’m white trash. It’s a simple
calculation: I’m one-half early Twentieth Century European immigrant, one-half
American mongrel.
And we White Trash folk know what we like to eat.
And it’s nasty.
Here are a few menu ideas:
-
Make a box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. Or,
better yet, store brand. Now add some Velveeta. Or, if you’re really white
trash, some Cheese Whiz.
-
You know what’s better than a peanut butter
sandwich? A peanut butter sandwich with a slice of bologna on it.
-
Or bananas.
-
Frozen pizza is always better with some ketchup
on it.
-
Almost everything is better with crushed potato
chips on top.
-
And you know what’s good with everything?
Mayonnaise.
But the best recipe of all was given on Saturday Night Live
in 1991, when Roseanne Barr portrayed a White Trash mother spontaneously inventing
the tuna noodle casserole.
I paraphrase:
“Go next door and borrow some noodles. And then go to the
store and get a can of cream of mushroom soup. Don’t get Campbell’s! Get
Food Club! It’s cheaper! And I think there’s a can of tuna under my bed. Cook it
all together. And don’t forget to save some for me, you little bastard.”
Bon appetit.
