When my mother was undergoing cancer treatment in the 1990s,
she went through all kinds of interesting states of mind, way beyond Elisabeth
Kubler-Ross’s measly five. Elisabeth
would have been astounded.
One of the most unexpected was the “I’m gonna tell you what
I think of you before it’s too late” phase. We discovered that Mom was calling
up people from her past and telling them all the things she’d been holding back
for decades: how they’d disappointed or betrayed her, how they weren’t good
enough for their wives/husbands, how they’d made bad decisions. (Myself, I was
surprised that Mom had ever held anything back – she could be a real loudmouth
when she was wanted to be – but apparently she’d kept a lot of opinions back
after all.)
I am my mother’s son. I am full of grudges and unsettled
scores. I am terribly self-righteous, just as she was. I only hope that, as the
cancer treatment weakens me, I don’t succumb to Mom’s let-‘em-have-it mentality
This is why I was bemused by something that showed up on my
Facebook wall a while back: a serious discussion of why you shouldn’t have
enemies. To wit:
·
Enemies
take up a lot of your valuable time – whether you’re actually taking revenge,
or just thinking about it. (This is true, and I hate the idea of wasting
time, especially at this point in my life.)
·
Your
enemies probably aren’t worth hating as much as you think they are. (Maybe.
Some of mine are pretty loathsome.)
·
Most of
the world’s religions tell us to be kind to our enemies.
This last one needs some scrutiny. Certainly Jesus tells us
to love our enemies. But the God of the Old Testament certainly didn’t mess
around with anyone who got in his way. And many modern Christians seem to act
as if they loathe whole squadrons of people.
So what’s an unbeliever to do?
See? You can
make your enemy ashamed of himself by being nice to him. And then, if he
doesn’t make friends with you, he presumably goes to hell.
Doesn’t that
make you feel better?
It does me a world
of good.
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