Morning TV

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On “30 Rock” a few seasons ago, Tracy Morgan came charging in and asked Tina Fey: “Liz Lemon, who's crazier: me or Ann Curry?”

 

 

 

Well, Ann Curry is gone now, crazy or not. She giggled a little too much, and she was definitely a lightweight. But she was definitely a morning-show person, god bless her, no matter how crazy she might have been.

 

 

Morning-show people always seem to become part of the family.  While I'm in the bathroom on weekday mornings, getting ready for work, I can hear Partner laughing at George Stephanopoulos and Robin Roberts and Sam Champion on “Good Morning America” in the bedroom.

 

 

Before George, of course, there was big ugly/handsome Chris Cuomo (brother of the current Governor of New York), who mostly seemed to enjoy getting into ticklefights with Sam Champion. 

 

 

Then there was the gorgeous CBS weekend host Chris Wragge, big and blond, like your handsome athletic cousin. He actually hosted the CBS weekday morning show for a while, but left this past January. He won’t be soon forgotten hereabouts.

 

 

Even the local hosts are interesting.  Partner and I used to enjoy the oddball pairing of Mark Zinni and Michelle Muscatello on Providence's Channel 12: they were always making each other laugh, and often came within inches of saying inappropriate things, which was exhilarating.  Michelle is still with us in Providence, but Mark is back in Cleveland, his home town.  I miss him.

 

 

Then there was the monstrous Vince DeMentri, who used to be the local Fox morning host.  He was big and blocky and handsome, but he gave off a kind of DANGER signal, like the abusive husband in a Lifetime movie.  The show had a meek little co-host named Sean Tempesta, who seemed to make Vince furious; after a while, Vince wouldn't even share the set with Tempesta. 

 

 

Then, suddenly, DeMentri disappeared.  I did a little research – wonderful place for research, the Internet! - and found that Vince had been a very bad boy in Pennsylvania before coming to Providence; he'd had an affair with another anchor, started doing stupid things (he hid her blow-dryer!), etc.  After he left Providence he went to New York City, where a few years ago he slapped the Bahamian ambassador’s driver for getting in his way.  Vince was acquitted, but lost his job in NYC. God knows where he is now.

 

 

I love morning television.  It's like a box of chocolates.  You never know what you're going to get.

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Fame and fortune

 

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I am descended from many generations of unwealthy and unfamous people.  No surprise there.  (I had a great-great-grandmother who fell for the Anneke Jans Bogardus hoax of the mid-1800s, which entailed proving your descent from Dutch royalty, but she died insane, so there you go.)  I marvel, though, at how money and fame and position go rippling through the generations.  There must be something Darwinian at work.  Once you’ve got any of those three things, you will pass it/them along to your kids.

 

And all three of those things buy access.

 

Access to a good education.  Access to other influential people who may be helpful in life.  Access to leisure time, and good food, and a nice house.  All of these leading to net positives for one’s own offspring, and so on.

 

They also buy recognition, and the appearance of worth.  The children of wealthy/prominent people seem better and worthier than our own children.  (Well, my children are stuffed animals, so it goes without saying in my case.)

 

Every time I find out that someone is somebody else’s brother / sister / uncle / grandmother, I become just a little more cynical about this.  I like A. O. Scott’s movie reviews in the Times, for example – and now I find out he’s the nephew of Eli Wallach and Anne Jackson.  Hmph!  Anderson Cooper I knew about.  I don’t begrudge him anything, he’s smart and cute and seems nice.  Chris Cuomo on ABC is a big harmless goofball of a journalist, but he’d be stuck behind a desk in Waukegan if he didn’t have that Cuomo name. 

 

And now, hey ho, Bristol Palin is hoofing her way to heaven on “Dancing with the Stars.”

 

Bristol’s family’s fame is of recent vintage, to be sure.   Until very recently, the whole brood was stuck in an icebox up north. 

 

Then lightning struck, and now all the Palins are celebrities. 

 

I don’t care so much about Bristol Palin myself; I wouldn’t know her in a crowd if I tripped over her.  But she appears to be doing okay on “Dancing with the Stars,” although her dancing is mediocre at best.  Are people voting for her because they like her style, or because they feel good about the Palin dynasty? 

 

Oh, hell, who cares?  Ultimately we stand or stumble on our own, whether or not Mom's storm troopers vote for us. 

 

 And dynasties don't last forever. 

 

Usually no more than three or four hundred years, anyway. 

 

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