I am sick at the moment, but it’s not terminal – yet. It’s
curable, according to my doctors. I just need to be faithful to my treatment
schedule. And everyone says that you have to maintain a Positive Attitude.
For me, it comes down to this: I don’t want to die.
Here are some reasons why not:
·
I don’t want to (as I said). Isn’t that
sufficient?
·
Mom keeps appearing to me in dreams in which we’re
going on a long trip together. I loved Mom dearly, but she was not especially
nice to travel with. If I can put this trip off, I will.
·
People need me in the office. They need me to
pay the phone bill and order stupid irrelevant office supplies and listen to
them complain.
·
My student employees need me. (Or rather, I need
them. I need to tell them stories. They
pretend to be interested, but that’s okay by me.)
·
Most of all: I don’t want to leave Partner alone.
This is the most beautiful time of year in Rhode Island.
It’s sunny but cool, and the colors are very full: the green of summer and the
shades of autumn are all together at once.
I’m glad I get to see a New England autumn one more time.
I don’t mean to be morbid. But still: one has to be
realistic.
(And many more after that, I hope.)
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