I have already posited that I am the earthly avatar of Ganesha, the Remover of Obstacles.
Having gone this far into blasphemy, why should I stop there?
Maybe I am also Loki. You know: the trickster. The killer of Balder The fellow who caused Ragnarok.
Like him, I am perverse. I enjoy stirring up dissention and trouble. Even as a kid! I told my barber that my poor sister Susan, who had to drag me there and sit with me until I got my haircut, that she had “fat hams and a big butt.”
Now where did that come from? A flash of divine inspiration, obviously.
I love telling people the endings of books and movies, as I've documented before.
Sometimes – and this is really horrible – reading bad news makes me feel good. Go ahead, I think. Make it worse. Make it really nasty.
I dunno. Maybe this is positive, in some way, or some manifestation of some deep counterintuitive force in the universe, like antigravity, or dark energy.
Or maybe it means that entropy is working on the human level too, and that we're all anxious to work downward, back down into the mud, until we've burnt ourselves out completely.
Or maybe I'm just mentally ill.
At the end of “Das Rheingold,” one of the last things that Loge (Loki) sings – after having helped Wotan trick Alberich out of the Ring, which soon turns out not to be the smartest thing Wotan might have done – is:
Bedenken, will ich's;
Wer weiss, was ich thu'!
“I'll think about it – who knows what I'll do?”
I repeat those words to myself every day, gloatingly.
Who knows what I'll do?
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