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Friday, March 23, 2012

The cigarette lady

Butts


I was waiting for the University shuttle the other day when a tough-looking broad approached me.  “HEY!” she said, a little too loudly.  “YOU GOTTA CIGARETTE?”  She moved her hand in front of her face in a smokey-smokey gesture.

 

 

“No,” I murmured demurely.

 

 

“I’LL PAY YOU!” she blared.

 

 

I shook my head.

 

 

She shrugged and turned away.  There was a guy parked across the street with his window rolled down; she bulldozered over to him and gave him the same line (I could hear the same dialogue, and his muttered reply).  She tilted back her head and bellowed: “DOESN’T ANYBODY SMOKE CIGARETTES ANYMORE?”

 

 

She stomped back across the street.  As she reached the sidewalk, I saw her look down.  She paused, and reached down into the gutter –

 

 

Please, god, I prayed to whatever god I pray to.  Let her be picking up a quarter.

 

 

Nope.  It was a cigarette butt.  She held it up and triumphantly displayed it to someone back inside the building she’d come from.  Hobo’s delight!

 

 

Hey, listen.  I used to smoke.  I remember waking up and realizing that I’d forgotten to buy cigarettes, and gone through the ashtrays to find some nice juicy butts.  Late nights, no cigarettes, same thing. 

 

 

Addiction is a terrible thing, kids.  It makes us do grimy horrible things.

 

 

I’m not hooked on cigarettes anymore.

 

 

I am probably blind to my real addictions.

 

 

I wonder what my real addictions are?


 

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