Bill O’Reilly versus the tides

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Bad science is nothing new; just ask Galileo.  I will say, however, that the American right wing, with its notoriously anti-intellectual bent, is making Galileo’s persecutors look positively enlightened.

 

 

Michelle Bachmann, to score some political points, threw the (not so old) canard at Rick Perry that vaccines cause autism.  Except that vaccines don’t cause autism.  But Michelle claimed that someone – a mother! - told her that they did.  And that’s that!  Take that, you stupid doctors and scientists!

 

Rick Perry himself, a Christian, prays for stuff.  He prayed for an end to the Texas drought earlier this year; he also prayed for the economy to improve.  (Prayer is so much easier than social action.  And you can always say, if nothing happens, that “God is working it out.”)

 

 

Mitt Romney, who once was almost rational on the subject of the environment and climate change, is creeping toward denialism.  He sort of acknowledges that the climate is changing, but says that we can’t possibly know with certainty whether the human race is responsible for it.  And, without this key piece of information, Mitt says that any attempt toward green living – CO2 reduction, for example – is silly, and a waste of money.  (Hey, Mitt, here’s some information for you: climate change means rising sea levels. Better get your ass back to Utah, where it’s high and dry!)

 

 

But the best, and worst, and most cringeworthy of all, is Bill O’Reilly, on the subject of the earth’s tides.  (This is old news – it dates back to January / February of this year – but he still hasn’t corrected himself, and it’s still a deliciously stupid story.)

 

 

It all began when O’Reilly had a guy named David Silverman on his show.  Silverman represented an organization called the American Atheists Group, which was mounting billboards around the country, some of which called religion a “scam.”  O’Reilly, he of the “war against Christmas” campaign, wanted to sink this guy in the mud.  So he chose an example of the miraculous in everyday life: the earth’s tides. 

 

 

To wit:

 

 

O'REILLY: I'll tell you why [religion's] not a scam, in my opinion: tide goes in, tide goes out. Never a miscommunication. You can't explain that.

SILVERMAN: Tide goes in, tide goes out?

O'REILLY: See, the water, the tide comes in and it goes out, Mr. Silverman. It always comes in, and always goes out. You can't explain that.

 

 

But of course we can explain the tides, Bill.  It involves the moon, and the sun, and gravity.

 

 

Every fifth-grade science teacher in the country jumped on this howling gaffe.  It was just too much.

 

 

But (in the words of A. A. Milne): did O’Reilly blinch?  No no.

 

A few weeks later, on his website, he posted the following:

 

Okay, how did the moon get there? How'd the moon get there? Look, you pinheads who attacked me for this, you guys are just desperate. How'd the moon get there? How'd the sun get there? How'd it get there? Can you explain that to me? How come we have that and Mars doesn't have it? Venus doesn't have it. How come? Why not? How'd it get here?

 

 

A “pinhead” is someone who didn’t pay attention in science class when the tides were being explained.  A “pinhead” is someone who looks in the sky, sees the sun and moon, and says, “God put them here just for me!”

 

 

Also: a “pinhead” is someone who makes a howling mistake in public and then refuses to admit it.

 

 

As the Huffington Post put it: “O’Reilly: zero.  Science: infinity.”

 

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