Partner and I were in Stop & Shop before Halloween. He was in the deli, and I was in the grocery. I was zipping through the candy aisle, and something caught my eye: the word JESUS, which seemed oddly out of place. I stopped and examined the item: it was a box of Christian lollipops for distribution on Halloween, each wrapped in a cute little paper decorated with a pumpkin, bearing the legend: JESUS SAID: I AM THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD.
Aha. I’ve heard of this. Jesus-ween, right? It’s an evil holiday, so let’s Christian it up. You don’t see it much here in pagan / Catholic Rhode Island, where people often allow the Virgin Mary to camp out year-round in a bathtub on their front lawn, but it’s an interesting phenomenon.
So now Partner and I are done shopping and are rolling the cart out into the parking lot. I am aware of Partner’s hearing difficulty; God knows I am hard of hearing too. So I try to enunciate, as carefully as I can, as we walk: “They were selling lollipops with Bible verses on them, for Halloween.”
And Partner looks at me with total incomprehension and says: “Wally Cox? Why did Wally Cox have Bible verses on him?”
Partner and I are the Burns and Allen of the Third Millennium.
Except I’m not sure which one of us is George and which one is Gracie.
I think we take turns.
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