Last week, Ira Glass of NPR's “This American Life” broke one of the great secrets of our time: the formula for Coca-Cola.
Coke was invented back in the late 19th century, when druggists all over the United States were formulating their own counter beverages. It had real cocaine in it, by the way, which explains the name. (Back in those days, cocaine was considered a harmless stimulant, like caffeine. Sigmund Freud was a cocaine user in his youth, and warned a girlfriend in a letter: “I hope you're ready to fight off a big wild man full of cocaine!”)
The Coca-Cola Company denies that this is the real recipe. Naturally they do. They are also obviously enjoying this very much, as it draws attention to the uniqueness and mystery of their brand. They also know that, if anyone is crazy enough to make this stuff at home, it will taste more like Windex than Coca-Cola.
I love this recipe, though. If I had lots of time and a couple of hundred dollars to throw away on a completely pointless enterprise, I'd make a batch myself. Since I don't keep neroli oil and Fluid Extract of Coca around the house, I would probably have to make a couple of purchases, and possibly break the law a few times. (Neroli oil is a perfumery ingredient, by the way. Maybe I can substitute some cologne. As for Fluid Extract of Coca, I am informed that I can buy whole-leaf coca tea and make my own. I'm off to the local Whole Foods right this second!)
Cookery is just throwing things in a skillet any old way. Baking is more like chemistry: if you don't combine the right things in the right proportions, you'll end up with bowling balls and hockey pucks instead of cakes and cookies. Candy-making is like nuclear physics: precise amounts, precise timing, precise temperatures.
But, evidently, creating a new soft drink is more like science fiction, or the laboratory of Doctor Frankenstein.
I'm perfectly happy to accept the recipe as correct. It looks crazy and random and highly caffeinated, like something a druggist would throw together. I'm sure it's been modified over the years – well, of course it has, they took out the cocaine, didn't they? But it's a starting point.
Now: what in the hell do they put in Dr Pepper?
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