So I get a big fat envelope in the mail on Friday from the Pacific Northwest, where I have friends and family. What could it be? Then I notice the cutesy little bride-and-groom stamp on the back of the envelope. Ah ha! A wedding invitation! But from whom?
Ah ha.
My Christian conservative nephew.
The invitation was addressed only to me, not to me and Partner, by the way. And I have been informed that, back in 2004, this kid registered to vote solely because he wanted to vote to forbid gay marriage in Oregon.
I get it. He probably doesn't want me at the wedding, but he figures I won't fly cross-country for his nuptials in any case. But they'll maybe get a gift out of me.
Okay. First question. What should I get them? There was a cute little note included with the invitation, cheerfully informing me that they're registered at Target.
Terrific! I can just pick up a People magazine and a Three Musketeers bar and some batteries at the local Target checkout counter and send them along to the happy couple, now that I know they're registered there.
But that would be too easy!
How about a gift in the names of the bride and groom to the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation? Or ACT UP?
How about a year's subscription to “Out”? Or “Lusty Bears Monthly”?
Second question. I wasn't planning to go to the wedding, but maybe we should go after all. What do you think? Would drag be too much? Or how about if we show up dressed as Jesus and Mary Magdalene?
And third question.
Why are people so damned dumb?
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