Better jerkitude through technology

 

Have you seen these television commercials?:

 

 

• An obnoxious neighbor taunts his neighbor's holiday decorations, using text, email, and phone.

• A guy in a car pool receives an emailed joke seconds before his coworkers receive it. He reads it, laughs shrilly, and puts his phone away. When his coworkers catch up with him a few seconds later and try to share the joke with him, he feigns boredom.

• An obnoxious girlfriend (see example #1 above) breaks up with her boyfriend via text, email, and phone, while sitting at a restaurant table with him.

   

 

What is the subtext here?

 

 

Evidently that technology is a great way for jerks to enhance and improve the quality of their jerkiness.

 

 

It reminds me of a incident in Graham Greene's “Travels With My Aunt.” Henry, the narrator, is treated very rudely over the intercom by his aunt's live-in lover Wordsworth. Later, in person, Wordsworth is surprised that Henry is miffed at him. “'Man, it's jus that little mike there,'” Wordsworth explains. “'Ar wan to make it say all kind of rude things. There ar am up there, and down there ma voice is, popping out into the street where no one sees it's only old Wordsworth. It's a sort of power, man. Like the burning bush when he spoke to old Moses.'”

 

 

Anonymity allows people to be stupidly mean. Go check out the messageboards on the New York Times or New York magazine sometime; they're trolled regularly by a few anonymous people who say things they know will be inflammatory, who enjoy getting people riled up.

 

 

It's a sort of power, man.

 

 

And apparently the vendors of smartphones and such are now encouraging you to get in touch with your inner jerk, using their new technology to be an even bigger and better jerk than you already are!

 

 

As commercials go, I much prefer those Allstate ads with Dean Winters as Mayhem. He's very cute in his suit, and he has the perfect smile/snarl for someone representing a chaotic force of nature, and he winks as he leaves the scene of the crime.

 

 

If you have to be a jerk, you should at least be a sexy jerk.