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Friday, January 7, 2011

My team big and good, your team weak and stupid

 


I've learned pretty much everything I know about sports from Partner.  Much of this information is garbled in my mind; I will not ever understand what a "safety" is, for example, because I made up my mind early on that it involves a football player running backwards.

 

 


But now and then something in the sports world catches my attention, and I strain to figure out what it's all about.

 


For example: back in November, there was an incident involving a football player named Derek Anderson.  His team was losing, and he had the nerve (!) to sit on the sidelines with a teammate and smile and laugh for a moment.  The crowds, and the sportscasters, were enraged. 


 

This is unforgivable, apparently. 


 

Unlike (let's say) dogfighting, or texting pictures of your genitalia to the world at large.


 

Yesterday morning I read a commentary in "Sports Illustrated" (don't blame me, Partner subscribes) about this event.  The columnist made it clear that the losing team is required to be stoic and grim.  Anything else lets down the team and the fans.  I quote: "It may seem irrational, but fans want their own passions validated by seeing the athletes they're rooting for show that they feel just as strongly."


 

Yes, babe, it does seem irrational.

 


I always knew there was a theatrical element in sports; I've just never heard it enunciated so clearly.  According to this guy, athletes aren't just supposed to play well; they're also supposed to represent the passions of their home fans.


 

Whoosh!

 


Now, players for any given team come from all over the country and the world.  But once you're on the team, you're a native son.  Once you're on the (let's say) Boston team, you become a Boston soldier, hup hup hup.  


 

Until such time as you're sold or traded, of course.


 

This goes way beyond the whole role-model thing.  This is all about rivalry, and tribalism, and ritual combat.  Cleveland is better than Detroit, Boston is better than Atlanta, the Bep Tribe is better than the Bap Tribe, Cave #73 is better than Cave #74.

 

 

Eesh!  Too serious!  I'm glad I'm not an athlete.  I'm not serious about anything.  I'd never be able to keep a straight face.


 

Sometime let's talk about the erotic element in sports instead.  All that running and chasing and grabbing. 


 

Now that's an interesting topic.



 

 

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