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Friday, August 9, 2013

I am a squid



“What’s your spirit animal?” Apollonia asked me recently. (You have to understand that these kinds of queries are common, and even natural, between us.)


I considered briefly. “What’s yours?” I asked, to gain time.


“Wolf,” she said.


“She-wolf,” I said. “Appropriate.”


She shook her head. “Alpha wolf. Leader of the pack.”


I nodded. “I can see it. Okay. I’ve got mine. Squid.”


She grimaced, then nodded. “Okay. Reasons?”


“One,” I said. “It can swim, and I can’t. I’d like to be able to swim. Two: it can squirt ink at people with whom it’s pissed off. Three: it’s supposed to be very intelligent. Four: it’s delicious when fried with jalapenos.”


A few days later, I discovered why Apollonia asked this question: she was sending me an Amazon gift card for my birthday, and was trying to find an appropriate design (they offer quite a few). They don’t do squid, but they have a very cute octopus.


I still like squid better. They taste better, at any rate. Click here to see a video with Isabella Rosselini on the sex-life of the squid.


Except, maybe, after you see it, calamari won’t be so delicious anymore, even when fried with jalapenos.



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