I am ailing. This is a shame. But there’s no reason I can’t
get some benefit from it.
Once in a while, when talking to people, I just touch the
side of my neck (where my tumor is) with people who know about my illness, and
they become much more agreeable right away.
This is awful of me, I know. But what would a bad thing like
cancer be without some positive side?
People are afraid of illness generally. A lot of people are
unfamiliar with cancer altogether. One of my coworkers asked me the other day: “What
would happen if you didn’t do any treatment at all?” (I had to explain to him
that cancer is a death sentence if not treated; mine would probably metastasize
to my jawbone and lungs, and I would die a very painful death within a few
years at most. His jaw dropped, and his eyes were like saucers. He obviously had
no idea it was that bad. Apparently he thought that cancer was like a bad cold –
nasty, but you get over it eventually.)
People at work (who know about my condition) treat me with
respect, for the most part. I don’t deserve it – I’m a horrible person in
general – but then again, I’ve been in the office for over twenty-five years,
and I deserve respect for my seniority if not for anything else. If it takes
the realization that I’m seriously ill to make them pay attention, then so be
it.
I love being
treated seriously.
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